Quicksand

“in that period of racking pain and calamitous fright helga had learned what passion and credulity could do to one. in her was born angry bitterness and an enormous disgust. the cruel, unrelieved suffering had beaten down her protective wall of artificial faith in the infinite wisdom, in the mercy, of god. for had she not called in her agony on him? and he had not heard. why? because, she knew now, he wasn’t there. didn’t exist. into that yawning gap of unspeakable brutality had gone, too, her belief in the miracle and wonder of life. only scorn, resentment, and hate remained- and ridicule. life wasn’t a miracle, a wonder. it was, for negroes at least, only a great disappointment. something to be got through with as best one could. no one was interested in them or helped them. god! bah! and they were only a nuisance to other people.”

this passage is found towards the end of the book, and it absolutely killled me. this passage, to me, finalized that helga had lost all hope and she was giving up on her life. i loved the book up until the last few chapters. it made me so upset to see her finally fall off the edge basically, and succumb to all the things she hated in her youth.

Do the Right Thing

When I found out we were going to watch “do the right thing” I was very excited because spike lee has such a well-known reputation. My parents are big spike lee fans. I had seen bits and pieces on tv but it had never before captured my interest.

As soon as it started I was instantly intrigued, although I found the beginning a little reminiscent of “in living color”. Just the fact that it opened with such a powerful song was enough to capture me.

I’m still finding it so hard to articulate my response to this movie. I watched it 2 more times over break, and I’m still not sure if it’s fully hit me. When the movie started it didn’t seem like it was going to escalate as much as it did. I even felt a little bit of Brooklyn pride, but as the movie went on I started to feel a little annoyed. I was annoyed at the way the Italian family was being portrayed, which in retrospect, my annoyance is the whole point of the movie. I felt ashamed to be grouped with people like Pino. But then at the end of the movie, I felt completely opposite. I felt like I wanted to defend them from the riot…I felt angry at what was happening because they were Italian.

As for a film, spike lee is a ridiculously amazing director and producer. I thought his parallel of all the racial slurs was the best part of the movie because he’s essentially saying that everyone has someone they look down upon- they’re all the same. And also, the 3 men who sit across from the fruit stand; when one of them starts complaining about the success of the Koreans, the other one almost defends them saying “there was nothing in that building, nothing was stopping you from that success”. It’s such a racially tense movie in so many ways. There’s tension within races, like Mookie and Buggin Out, or Pino and Vito added to the tension between all racial groups. Even at the end when the cop is killing Radio Raheem, the other cop is yelling for him to stop.

The end of the movie totally blew my mind. I feel silly that I didn’t even see it coming.

On Bridges

why do people get scared driving over bridges?
i’ve driven over them with no problem
the bridge never scares me,
but other cars do.

i remember driving over the GWB two weeks before 9/11
saying i had never been to the twin towers.
i was going to a mets game with my friends.

the bridge brings me to all the things i love.
my family, baseball, new york city, central park.

every few years they repaint the bridges.
i asked my dad once while driving over.

A Little Bitch of Brooklyn

the wind makes my eyes tear
it’s wednesday night
the sun reflects
as i cross the street my
hair gets in my eyes
i can’t see
evan called me tiny
there’s a playground but with
no animal statues
no elephants
no whales
no horses
watch out for the speed bump
someone got shot on this corner
i saw it
in late august
the house over there looks like
it was burnt down
i want to walk back and get
a bagel from Bergen
but something smells good
like chocolate chip cookies
a piece of paper blows by as
i walk
we found a cafe
with cool retro chairs and radios
we all had that toy
evan looks so happy
there’s a picture of
jim morrison
by the bathroom door

Hip Hop

music. it describes emotions, holds memories, and soothes the soul. new york city itself holds a rhythm. cars moving, honking…people talking. since living in brooklyn, my love for hip hop has exploded. i always liked artists like Common and Lupe fiasco, who are both from chicago. but one of my friends here got me really into Mos Def, and from stealing music off his computer…i also got into Talib Kweli, both of whom are from Brooklyn. in fact, Talib had a show here in ft green park in september. if youve never heard any of them…dnt be fooled by the title hip hop, its not the ridiculous nonsense you hear on the radio. its more or less poetry about city life, ghetto life. this hip hop is new york in my eyes. i strongly suggest downloading a couple songs by each.

Part of “Got” lyrics by Mos Def

This one goes to all them Big Will cats
With ice on they limbs and big rims on they Ac
You goin’ around town with your system bump
And your windows cracked low to profile and front
Now I like to have nice things just like you
But I’m from Brooklyn, certain shit you just don’t do
Like, high postin’ when you far from home
Or like, high postin’ when you all alone
Now, this would seem to be clear common sense
But, cats be livin’ off, sheer confidence
Like “Fuck that, picture them tellin’ me run that”
But acting invincible, just ain’t sensible
It’s nineteen ninety-now, and there’s certain individuals
Swear they rollin’ hard and get robbed on principle
5 star general, flashin’ on your revenue
You takin’ a ride on the Downstate medical, Like (whooooooo)
Colorful sparks, yellow and blue
A full on attack and it’s happening to you
Wit’ nothing you can do but bust back and cop a plea
But five of them and one of you, that equals Got to me…

Italy

why don’t my parents keep traditions their parents did? i want to go home, but not to new york or new jersey, home to italy. i want to know italian and eat fresh macaroni every sunday. i want my cousins to come at noon and i want to be in the bustle of the kitchen. the rich, red sauce on the stove. the men outside arguing about baseball. i want fig trees in my back yard, the sweet, sticky fruit of summer. i want to wander through the countryside with my dogs. i want my dad to teach me the secrets of the bakery. i want to feel the august sun on my face & feel the warm breeze at night. i want to hold my grandfather’s roses from the bush that should’ve stayed in italy. they should’ve never left. i want to work hard, but enjoy my life because it is filled with the love of my family. how can i create this for my children?

Midnight Cowboy

all i can say about ‘Midnight Cowboy’ is: weird. it was quite possibly one of the strangest films i’ve ever seen, but i wouldnt necessarily say it was bad. it started out very optimistic; the naive ‘cowboy’ from texas going to New York because he thought it would bring him fortunes and luck. but as soon as he got to New York it all took a very sad, strange turn. this film painted the city in a harsh light, making it seem like this crazy bustling place that will hustle any newcomer that comes along. i felt like the entire city – as a city was being made out to be a hustler. aside from the depressing picture of New York, some of the scenes were very odd. i thought it was very strange when they would flashback to Joe and his grandma. at first i didn’t understand what was going on. but then it seemed like the flashbacks were kind of hinting at why he’s so distorted. i also found it strange when there was a scene of him in an armed forces uniform- it made me very curious about his past. how did he go from serving the country to thinking he could be a male prostitute in new york? and when he finally gave in and thought he could make some money if he hooked up with guys – that just boggled my mind. overall, the movie just distorted my sense of New York City and i’d feel really sad fot anyone who saw that film and had never been to New York.

Thirty Years Rising by Olena Kalytiak Davis

Of all the poems, this one spoke to me the most. I thought it was a feeling that everyones will relate to at some point in their life, although being young – it’s hard to already relate to this feelings. I truely felt the notion of “going home”. The poem itself generally reminded me of “Colossus of New York”, especially the first stanza, in which Davis spoke of her Detroit, the one that lived inside her as well as the Detroit that now was. Even later in the poem she goes on to describe the feeling of the city within her. The city that is her home town.

it’s in my bones. my sternum
runs like woodward avenue,
it’s pinnated, parked on, full
of dirt, holding women in wigs and cigarattes, bars
lit from the outside in, it’s overflowing
with pool tables and ashtrays.

The fourth and longest stanza truely shows the connection one feels to their hometown. It can also be referred back to “The Cruise”, because Davis is giving us the cruise of her hometown, including in it all the places that make up part of who she is. Detroit lives inside her.

At the end of the poem, she starts to speak of how the Detroit inside her is dying, and it is now her brother’s turn to experience his Detroit, which will be so incredibly different from hers.

Po-Town.

This past weekend I visited my best friend who goes to Marist College, which is in Poughkeepsie, NY. – Po-Town for short. ouch. It is absolutely nothing like Brookyn, yet just as dangerous. Marist is about 5 minutes outside the city of Poughkeepsie, but you would never ever know it’s near anywhere “urban”. Everything is so wide. the streets, the fields, the freakin’ sidewalks. it’s all so open. the main road is route 9! try crossing that in under 24 seconds, which is all u get when the light says “go”. it would make me sick. not to say that some parts werent absolutely beautiful – the college itself is right on a lake with a gorgeous view, but for the most part it all seemed so impersonal. it probably didn’t help that it was very dreary and gray, which can make any neighborhood unwelcoming.

Dominica Paige

Although we weren’t really able to see the photos, Dominica’s presentation was still beautiful. The way she spoke about photography and the photographers she was presenting really made her love for the art apparent. Just listening to someone speak so passionately about something they love is more than enough to keep me interested.

When we finally were able to see a few photos from afar, I was particulary drawn to the subway series. It sounds very invasive, but then again, isn’t the subway? Would anyone really even notice if you were to take their picture – without a flash of course. I think the whole idea of that is perfect because you catch people in their true state. I usually only take candid pictures of my friends, because that’s when people are real. I can’t stand posed pictures.

The series also reminded me of my high school art teacher. Her name is Jane Garnes, and we usually called her the “Garnserazzi”. I forget which photographer is was that ‘shot from the hip’, but that’s something she would talk about all the time. She went to Japan and walked around taking pictures from her hip. Now I know it wasn’t an orginial idea…which makes me happy, cause I kind of hated her anyway.